It’s 10am, I’ve just finished a work email, I’ve just received feedback on an ongoing project, I’ve already cleared several things off my to do list. I ate breakfast this morning, I took my meds, I got up on time and got my chores done with time to spare. I slept well. There’s upbeat music playing.
Suddenly, I’m crying. For a few minutes, the world is painful, breathing is ineffective, I’m crushed by the weight of the air. I panic. The edges of my consciousness crinkle and shimmer, ready to crumble. I hear myself sobbing. It’s far away and immediate. I sit back in my chair and close my eyes to escape my office. I close my eyes to remember my body.
Hours pass. The air lifts, the tears dry. I breathe. I open my eyes.
It’s 10:05, I’m opening another email.