Don’t tell my mother, but I’m collecting books. Again. Or still. Or just… more.
I should not be collecting books.
But there are just so many I want to read, but in a leisurely way that has no due dates or special care requirements (such as exist for another person’s property and are inherently anxiety-inducing). I want to read with the option of putting the book down on the table for a few weeks until I decide to clean that house, starting with clearing the table and pick up that book mid-cleaning spree and start reading, just to see where I left off because I can’t quite remember (it’ll only be a moment, then I’ll put the book away, content with being reminded where I had left off)… but the next thing you know, my back hurts and and the house is growing dark because I’ve been standing over the table, holding a book to my face for two hours with my entire existence disappearing into the pages.
But also, I recently had a revelation concerning making notes in books* and I’m excited to make notes in my books, which just isn’t the same on a kindle. Pair this with a recent return to my interest in philosophy and a little bit of income, and I’ve bought four books on phenomenology in the past two weeks. I think I almost understand intentionality in that context, at least as a vocabulary word. So I have that going for me.
In my defense, Mom, I’m actively reading all the books I’ve bought since moving. And even taking notes, like a student or something. (Somehow, that makes it better.)
*I watched a youtube video that I can no longer find, which was all about commonplace books and, in a tangent, the speaker addressed the practice of marking up a book. He favored the practice - with the assumption that the reader was also the owner of the book - because, ‘this is YOUR book! It’s a TOOL, not a museum piece!’ And with that, I was brought face to face with my instinct to preserve all the things exactly as I found them, to leave no trace of myself behind, and I decided I was done muting myself, as it is not actually a particularly useful activity. The function of a book, after all, is not to look pretty, but to convey understanding.